Armenian Nude Celebrity Website About To Close

by Narek

Armenia’s first and only website that presented nude photos of Armenian pop stars is on the brink of closing caused by very low number of visits. When German Nkaryan first bought the domain www.tklorastgher.am he had no doubt that the site would become super popular and would make him a millionaire in a year.

The website started off pretty good featuring full length porn home video of Armenian talented …(ArmComedy’s research team is still working hard to find out what exactly K.K. is talented in) Kim Kardashyan. “Kim was very excited to share her nude photos and videos with the world. She knew that some day her nude photos will contribute to Turkey and Armenia reconciliation. Kim is such an idealist.” — sighs Nkaryan reminiscing about days when the website had more than 45 visitors per day.

Later the website went on and started looking for hot nude photos and footage of other Armenian stars. An occasional nipple slip at Miss Armenia contest, an unusually short skirt on Nazeni Hovhannisyan, screencaps of ugly videos with rabiz singer Nana, Tigran Karapetyan relaxing on Sevan — all of that didn’t seem to be enough to sustain the website’s popularity after Kardashyan phenomenon.

“I was the first to upload the notorious Shprot video, the one that every Armenian male had in his cell phone. Although she was not technically nude, she showed enough nude skin to dazzle the imagination of every 12 year old in the country and force him to take unusually long showers.” says Nkaryan.

The website later came up with some more hardcore material featuring Razmik Amyan, a singing sensation from Karabakh. The singer not only demonstrated some exclusive Stepanakert style lovemaking positions, but also started endless debates on whether that was really him or not. “Those videos were very promising, but it seemed that the celebrities themselves gave away such material first. Before I got my hands on these videos, every teenager with bluetooth already had them.”

Armenian singer Armenchik was among the first to protest his nude photos being publicly displayed on the website. “I don’t feel free anymore. I can’t go swimming, can’t wear all my sexy shirts anymore…there’s always some sneaking paparazzi waiting to make a picture and post it on the website” he complained.

But it seems that Armenchik and other Armenian sex symbols can finally relax, because German Nkaryan is not going to renew his domain registration anymore. “This just doesn’t work. We must face the obvious: Armenian celebs are simply not hot. Either the Government calls for extraordinary measures and promotes some hot people in show business, or I’ll have to start a new website with Arab belly dancers. I bet that will be popular. But in 90s there was an urban legend of a sex tape with Lilit Karapetyan existing, if only I could find that, things could dramatically change. It could be my personal Holy Grail.” — dreamed Nkaryan.

ArmComedy’s source in RA Government informed us that Ukraine sent humanitarian aid of 23 tons of silicone and botox to enhance Armenian celebrities. Will oligarchs steal humanitarian aid for their own purposes or will it reach those desperately in need? Only time will show.

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