Armenian Bloggers Beg Government to Prohibit Blogging in Armenia

by Narek and Sergey

Members of Armenian Anonymous Bloggers Club met last Saturday to discuss the current situation with Armenian blogs. Representatives of the blogosphere, or Blogo Sapiens, as they are called today, issued an open letter to Prime Minister Tigran Sargsyan which reards as follows:

“Dear Prime Minister (blush, blush),
We, the Armenian bloggers, want all the blogs in Armenia to be banned forever (wasn’t me). Blogging destroys our lives, families, health and almost excludes the offline sexual life(blush-wasntme-blush). Besides, other people call us geeks and nerds which is super-false (super-angry) and we can’t even punish them, because we don’t believe in violence (angel-angel-blush). Hence we would like Armenian legislation to prohibit any blogging related activities and give us a chance for offline life(nerd-blush-angel).

Yours Truly (hug- blush-angel),
Armenian Anonymous Bloggers Club
P.S. Please block our Facebook accounts too! (hug-kiss-doggy)

When asked why they made such a radical decision, Armenian Anonymous bloggers rushed to give their justification of the decision.

“You never know how bad this is until you start. First you just post what movies you like. Then you comment on someone’s post about how sweet the air is after rain, and then.. next thing you know – your are describing in your blog what you had for breakfast… I even stopped looking at girls’ skirts, instead I use “like” or “grade” bottoms… And even this pathetic confession I will probably post on my blog. And I can’t help it, I’m addicted… This is why we want blogs banned!” said Norayr of sadboyangel.wordpress.com.

Blogger Alvard Simonyan a.k.a. Enter_Sandman_Girl had her own reasons to quit blogging. “When I first learned about blogging my friend told me that every time you blog something you lose 154 calories, so I decided it was a good way to lose weight. I blogged and blogged, day after day and I only gained weight. I don’t know why, is it because I don’t blog enough, or because I eat wrong chocolate ice-cream while blogging? I want to lose weight!” burst into hysteria Alvard.

Head of the AAB club admitted: “We have made the first and most important — we admit that we are addicted, that it is a problem. Now it is Prime Minister’s turn to step in and push for the legislation.”

Following the petition to Prime Minister, Tigran Sargsyan issued a statement: “Let’s not be ridiculous and exaggerate everything. Blogging is not a disease and does not cause addiction. It’s fun! And it’s not only for nerds. Even cool guys often use blogs,” read Sargsyan’s statement posted on his personal blog — Prime_boy_Minister.wordpress.com

At the end of the bloggers’ meeting, everyone signed a memorandum of understanding promising to NEVER EVER again blog. Later the day, all the bloggers posted the memorandum on their blogs and started active discussion of next steps on how to stop blogging. All in all their NEVER EVER blogging lasted for 85 minutes.